Free Time

In my free time I am capable of doing a variety of stuff
believe me, I've done most of them, they aren't only bluffs
Through the Bermuda Triangle, I was brave enough to set sail,
and I'm not lying when I say I rode on an evil blue whale
I surpassed glaciers, snow, hail and the rest
as I trudged up the mighty Mount Everest
And the dreams of these have been truly terrific,
when I dived down to the Mariana Trench, in the Pacific
Later on, I made my way to the perennially freezing South Pole
and sought to bring back the greenery nature had once stole
So, I potted some rich soil, and planted a young tree,
my move will yield incredible results, we will all soon see
I then invented this sort of creamy, fudgy, tasty chocolate,
which by consuming day and night, we'll remain eternally fit
Next, I fashioned a wand from a thyme tree, that responded at my will
so by utilizing my expertise, I could make time stand still
And this astronomical feat., has made me seriously famous
when I opened an amusement park on the surface of Uranus
I ran a marathon across the equator, in exactly 139 minutes
my awesomeness has been publicized, making me infinite
Later, by using binoculars, some glass, a nail and a laser,
I discovered a 10 billion light years away, radioactive quasar
When I ran into the Sahara Desert, I introduced a giant lake
that endless stretch of sand for miles, I took the duty to break
The list goes on and on, and I haven't covered most,
but I think I'll stop right here and now, as I don't mean to boast
Yet in my opinion, I think my achievements have been prime
but I can't help thinking it's a load of nonsense I do in my free time